When you’re home all day with three small children, sometimes the conversation gets a little bit… Well, let’s just say that I can only handle talking about Bob the Builder for so long. Don’t get me wrong – Bob the Builder is pretty awesome. It’s just that there are other things that I’d love to discuss with *gasp* another adult.
Shocking, I know.
But since most phone conversations simply aren’t going to happen without constant interruptions, most of my adult interaction happens by text. Or email. And even those are interrupted on a regular basis.
So I’ve come up with a great alternative to having actual conversations with other adults. I have imaginary conversations with actual adults. 😀
It’s highly entertaining – and yes, it’s all in my head. I know that.
Kids are watching the nursery rhyme show on Netflix for the sixth time in a row? Great. Let’s have an imaginary hang out with the Chewbacca mask lady. She’s hilarious in real life, so I’m sure we (okay, I) can think of some witty dialogue. But after we’ve both laughed about her mask some more, things get awkward. Mostly because I haven’t watched her Facebook page lately, so I’m out of material to imagine her saying. Plus, I’m pretty sure I missed her birthday. Again. Well, we’ll just wookie howl and call it good.
One of my absolute favorite imaginary conversations, though, was an interview with Ellen. Yes, that Ellen.
Why Ellen? Well, not only is she hilarious, but she’s also the voice of Dory. And Dory is one of my all-time favorite cartoon characters. So when things get slow, we just talk about Finding Nemo.* That’s one kids’ show I could watch more frequently, probably because I’m a natural blue, too.
But since my kids would rather watch “Fireman Sam“* than find any lost fish, Ellen and I commiserate about the rising generation. We also talk about how the poor town of PontyPanty is absolutely DOOMED should Fireman Sam ever take a vacation. I mean, seriously. He’s the only person capable of handling an emergency in that town. And that town seems to define “emergency” as “anything that’s even remotely or potentially dangerous”. You know… things like, oh, life in general.
Yesterday we (me and my kids. Ellen wasn’t actually there, remember?) even watched an episode where there was a small stove fire at the Flood’s house… and there was already a firefighter there. What’d he do? He got everyone out of the house and insisted they call Fireman Sam. Then they waited outside – while the fire grew – for backup to arrive.
Then Ellen laments that common sense isn’t too common – and we cut to a pre-filmed segment where she’s interviewing people on the street about how to handle common household emergencies. She makes some awesome faces at the interesting array of answers she gets. Her point is proven yet again.
Sure, then we do a proper interview.
Because she’s an amazing lady who helps people – she totally surprises me and mentions my compression socks. I’m both embarrassed and flattered because apparently only my subconscious knew we were headed this way. But yes, my socks are amazing and she’s decidedly wanting the blue pair, because Dory.
By now the episode is over and my kids are ready to move on to the next activity. So it’s goodbye to Ellen for now. Maybe we’ll hang out again in the future. Of course it’ll be only in my imagination…
Then I wonder… am I crazy?
Oh, most certainly to some degree. After all, I’m in my house. I’m sitting on my couch. And I’m watching Fireman Sam while imagining a conversation with a lady who is real but doesn’t know me.
But I’m willing to bet that, at some level, you get what I’m saying. Maybe it’s because you practice a phone conversation before it happens. Or maybe you rehearse some awesome and witty text replies before you hit “send.” Or maybe you also pretend to chat with people.
In any case, it’s a great way to pass the afternoon while trying to maintain a shred of dignity. And maybe a smaller shred of sanity. Maybe.
Do you rehearse conversations before they happen? Or are you willing to admit you’d totally have an imaginary conversation with Ellen, too? 🙂
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